"You continue to ponder over this difficult question for a bit, and finally decide to call it quits. The answers to these questions, like the answers to all great questions, can only be found at the bottom of a mug of grog, and sadly, you don’t have any. Though you were sure you had one earlier. But it’s so hard to think clearly without that delicious lukewarm swill swishing around in your gut."
"You are a pirate, and you need your Grog, and that’s all there is to it. You begin to search for your precious elixir. A quick glance of the room reveals nothing, so you bend down to look under the table. As you do so, you hear a loud squawk from somewhere else in the room."
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Clearly, that large squawk is from someone's head being shagged by a rare parrot. Or it's a baby velociraptor in a cage.
ReplyDelete"I think I shall call him Rampage. Or Fluffy. Or Wilderbeast."
Hit your head on the desk in surprise, dislodging hidden grog flask.
ReplyDeleteRetrieve arms from under desk.
ReplyDeleteWow, I like that last one... But...
ReplyDelete>Get ye sword and throw it at the squawk. (Nobody's distracting ME from MY Grog!)
Lick the saber! There must be Grog in there!
ReplyDeleteI second "Hit your head on the desk in surprise, dislodging hidden grog flask."
ReplyDeleteBecause clearly you would have been thinking clearly enough before to hide some extra grog for exactly this kind of situation.
Check for crackers. You can tempt the parrot (or Balrog) that is sqwuaking and make him say your name.
ReplyDelete